Own Your Time: The Empowering Practice of Solitude

By Wendy Bjork, MS Mentor and Founder of HeartsOf Wellness.com

Learning to Lunch Alone: Reflecting on Life with MS Through the Power of Solitude

When was the last time you took yourself to lunch?

I don’t mean rushing through a drive-thru or eating alone at your desk while answering emails. I mean an intentional, nourishing lunch—by yourself, for yourself—where your only job is to be fully present with you.

Living with Multiple Sclerosis (MS), we often navigate a life of appointments, treatments, side effects, and unexpected physical or emotional shifts. There’s an invisible weight we carry, trying to maintain “normalcy” while our nervous system reminds us daily that our body is writing its own rules. And somewhere in that swirl, it’s easy to lose ourselves.

But here’s the truth: solitude can be one of our most powerful tools for healing and reconnection.

Why Solitude Matters for Those Living with MS

We hear a lot about the importance of staying connected to community—and rightly so. Social interaction is essential for mental and emotional health. But solitude also has deep healing potential, especially for women living with chronic illness.

Solitude provides us with more than just a break from the noise. It offers freedom to reflect without interruption, space to listen to our bodies, and time to reconnect with the version of ourselves that existed before the diagnosis—and the one that’s still evolving.

For women with MS, solitude can be a space to exhale. To step away from being the strong one, the caretaker, or the fighter. Instead, we can just be—vulnerable, curious, and compassionate toward ourselves.

The Difference Between Solitude and Isolation

Solitude is not the same as loneliness. One is chosen and empowering; the other is often forced and painful. When solitude is voluntary and intentional, it can help us:

• Rebuild self-esteem

• Increase self-awareness

• Process emotions without pressure

• Set personal goals

• Reflect on life’s direction

It also gives us the clarity to check in with ourselves. Am I suppressing pain to keep peace? Am I sacrificing my rest for someone else’s comfort? Solitude gently brings these questions forward.

However, it’s important to stay mindful: if time alone becomes avoidance or deepens despair, that’s when community, therapy, or connection with others who “get it” becomes essential.

Solitude as Self-Advocacy

Practicing solitude as a woman with MS is a radical act of self-advocacy. In a world that wants us to be busy, productive, and constantly available, choosing time alone sends a powerful message: I am worthy of my own attention.

That’s why I recommend something simple but transformative: take yourself on a lunch date. Leave your phone in your purse. Bring a journal or a good book. Choose somewhere that makes you feel seen and nourished—inside and out.

Use this space not just to eat, but to check in. Ask yourself:

1. Am I truly happy with myself right now?

2. Am I relying on others to make me feel fulfilled?

These questions aren’t about shame or blame—they’re about awareness. And awareness is where healing begins.

Make It a Ritual

At first, sitting alone might feel awkward or even uncomfortable. That’s okay. Begin with 10 minutes a day of unplugged time. Then stretch it to 20. Eventually, you may find solitude to be not only soothing but essential to your wellness.

Solitude doesn’t have to be stillness. It might be a solo walk at the park. A creative afternoon painting, knitting, or simply lying in the grass. For those of us managing MS, movement without pressure and rest without guilt are vital.

Creating Happiness From Within

One of the hardest lessons I’ve learned through decades of living with MS is this: no one else is responsible for my happiness. That’s an inside job. And the first step is getting comfortable being with me—the tired me, the joyful me, the grieving me, the hopeful me.

Solitude has taught me to forgive myself. To stop hustling for worth. To honor what my body is asking for, not what the world expects of it.

So, when was the last time you took yourself to lunch?

Let this be your invitation. Not just to eat—but to connect. With yourself. With your truth. With your quiet strength.

Because that’s where real healing lives.

And you, dear one, are so very worth it.

Additional Resources

Wendy Bjork is an international bestselling author, nationally syndicated columnist, inspirational speaker, and founder of HeartsOfWellness.com. Known as The MS Mentor, Wendy empowers women living with Multiple Sclerosis to build a strong Foundation of Wellbeing—One Whole-istic™ Step at a Time.

Diagnosed with MS at just 15, she has navigated over three decades of challenges and triumphs. Her lived experience revealed the gaps in care, connection, and clarity that many women with chronic conditions face. Today, Wendy is dedicated to bridging those gaps, offering guidance, community, and tools to help others reclaim their power and live with purpose.

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